I love recycling day. Not because I'm an Earth nut or anything. I heard a rumor that they bring all your rinsed organic almond flax seed butter containers to the same landfill used rubbers go. They don't recycle those. At least not in my neighborhood.
I moved to a city where little old Asian women scour the landscape like carpenter ants on trash day, ripping open garbage bags looking for aluminum cans with a 5 cent deposit. 20 of those babies is a buck. A full stolen shopping cart renders...I don't fucking know. I never played the HOW MANY GUMBALLS game, and I could care less about GUESS CHAN'S CANS (I put the over/under on Bs. Broads are way flat.)
The fun started when the city got rid of the designated plastic/glass/paper green buckets. One day, a gigantic flip top bucket showed up. No more sorting, they say. The recycling bin poses a problem for the average four foot bottle snagger. It wasn't unusual to see a pair of two dollar sandals wiggling out of the trash.
When the 'no-sort' policy hit, the recycling dude's productivity went through the roof. All he had to do was drive up to the curb to utilize a forklift device, catapulting the contents into a large flatbed. Suddenly, the ants are on a time crunch. It's amazing to see how fast ants can sort when a recycling truck's on their ass.
Reminds me of JOHN HENRY.
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