Hunting and Gathering

   While working in an office building, we shared a floor with a life coaching company run by a bunch of uppity Cambridge granola eaters. Why anyone would listen to advice from a guy who wears socks with his sandals, I'll never know. It's judgement calls like this that made their lives suck to begin with.
 
   I fantasized about casually walking into their office while they're busy reloading their organic incense burners and stealing all their K-Cups for our coffee machine. Maybe a soy danish.  If I get caught, I can always curl up into a ball, sobbing about how my father never told me I was a man, and hope the prospect of a new client blinds them from noticing that I didn't give the coffee back. Witnessing my craft doesn't come cheap.